Ahhh!!!!!

It's time for one of my famous break downs yet again. I know I have them often and I try my hardest to prevent them but that never happens. I was just at the exclusive premiere of Julie & Julia with Meryl Streep and Amy Adams I love it but then my sister decides to call my mom and tells her that she wants to take a cruise from either California or come with us on our trip to the Caribbean in October if we choose too. Now I love my sister I really do but why does she want to go on a cruise by herself? She's going to Wyoming for a trip and I have no idea why? In my head I'm thinking why in the HELL are you going to Wyoming? Oh well it's your money to spend right. Do what you want to do. Then my mother and grandmother started talking about the cruise that we want to take in October and how it could be my birthday present and my little brother's birthday and graduation present. My mother turned around and said but he also wants to go to Florida and I'm considering doing both.

WTF!!!! Are you kidding me???? Why??? Yes I understand that he's a senior and it's his 18th birthday but come on!?!? I got irritated because he's never had to work a day in his life and if he does have to work or do something in our apartment as far as choruses go it's like a flipping sin!! He's always gotten what he wanted in everything, for instance he wanted an X-BOX 360 for his birthday and they cost a pretty penny. Guess what my Dad bought him, a flipping X-BOX 360!!! He now wants a PlayStation 3 and he might be getting it within the next month or so. Then when we went to Mexico for our cruise he saw an I-POD TOUCH at a pawn shop and he wanted it. My mother said that he couldn't have it and he got pissed off and walked away. Now he might be getting that too. Again WTF!!! Now I feel cheated because I never asked for anything like that from my parents because I knew that I had to work hard for what I wanted. I worked for my phone, clothes, and other things that I have and everything that he wants was just given to him.

I gave up my sweet 16 for my sister to have her graduation trip and thinking that I was going to get one too No! I was grateful enough to have a flipping party! Then my little brother might get two trips for his Senior year and a party! What a joke! And he doesn't have to pay for a thing! I'm really upset about this! I feel like the Prodigal Son well Daughter in this case because I do almost everything in my house and no one and I mean no one appreciates what I do! I do deserve something right!!! Whether you agree or not but this is how my life has been and let me tell you it sucks being the middle kid trust me it does! You get riped off of everything and when someone else decides to provide something for you then you look bad. *Screams loudly* Then my Dad decides to come and see my brother and he decided not to let me know. He didn't say "Hey I'm going to stop by and talk to Mikey for a little bit come out and say hi." No!!! I've been trying to see him for two weeks and he tells me I don't have money! Yet you come out of no where and stop by and not tell me. That made me even more pissed off than I already am. I'm just tried of this crap that I have to deal with and I can't take it. Although I do ask Heavenly Father for strength to cope everyday, everyday I ask and I receive a little and that's good enough for me.