2010 Has Brought Many Wonders & Changes

Well I decided to update since my last blog was from November of 2009 which was a long time ago. 2010 has brought a lot of new changes in my life, and the past is the past. Nothing but mere memories for me to sometimes look back upon and it's time to move forward with change. I like to start off by saying that I meet the man of my dreams and we got married in February :) My husband Ben is the most amazing man I have ever met but I'm sure that every girl says that about their man. He is the complete opposite from me which is different to me but over the past seven months since we meet it's been a life changing experience. He is a Red Soxs fan which causes some fights during baseball season since I like The New York Yankees. But I love him more than anything.

I am going to be a mom by the end of the year. Yes, Ben and I are having a baby. A baby girl and we are so excited for her to come into our lives and change it more. It was a shock when we found out that I was pregnant because I didn't think that it would happen so soon but I guess you can say that she is a honeymoon baby lol. Although I was happy at first I was also sad too. My mom who I love dearly, wasn't so happy with the fact that I was having a baby. Usually moms are excited, happy, and crying when they have a daughter tell them that they are having a baby; mine wasn't. It was as if I was 16 and having a baby and she was upset over it. After a few months she was happy but it still doesn't feel the same.

Ben and I have been having so much fun decorating her side of the room and buying her the cutest clothes. She actually has more cloths than both of us combined! i guess that's what happens when you have kids, they get more stuff than you and they are much better. Some times I think to myself "Am I ready to be a mom?" Some times I doubt myself about it but my husband tells me that I will be a great mom and that I will be there to support her. It will be a hard process but I just don't want her to go through what I went through growing up. It was rough for me and I want it to be easy for her. I want her to be healthy, for her to have great friends, and be loved by those around her. I don't want her to be used by anyone and have fake friends that stab her in the back. But then again that's hard because everyone has friends that stab them in the back all the time, me the most.

I want her to learn from my mistakes and from her fathers too. I don't want her to be in a family that fights all the time like mine. I want to be there for her and have a great relationship with me so that she can come to me and know that I will listen and say the right thing. It will be a hard process and it may not end up that way but that is what I want for our daughter and for our future children which won't be until she is about five or six. I am anxious and nervous for that day she comes into this world but I know that I will have my husband there to support me when I start freaking out and I know he will be there to help me the first few days and weeks when we bring her home. I love her more than anything already and I love my husband. He is my everything and my world and I can't wait for us to spend the rest of our lives together for many years to come.